Birthing a child

So, I spent a large and rather sleepless part of last night thinking about this… Giving birth to a child.. I would call it transformational. Oh no, I am not dreamy dramatic when I say this. It’s the kind of transformation that you don’t find mentioned anywhere (but here probably).

When you get into the process of giving birth to a child (wind back to the day you did the deed) you sign up for 9-10 months of radical body changes. You sign up (involuntarily,of course) for major hormonal swings, erratic hunger cravings and pangs, delivering like a dam that just broke, leaky breasts in random and weird situations, bleeding like there’s no tomorrow (almost) and giving up on sleep once and for all, to begin with.

wp-1476154396354.jpg(Coincidentally, I found this image in an article called ‘Is a healthy baby all that matters during childbirth?)

This is just scratching the surface… There’s more to it. There’s the emotional transformation as well and I think that hits the hardest. Most of us (who have been there) scrape through the physical changes somehow, but the emotional changes are a whole different game.
Why am I talking about this? Because it’s not easy to be growing a child inside, looking at yourself undergo massive changes (hello, baggy tent like wardrobe) and having to deal with it all like an ‘adult’. That.. that bit about being an adult. If it were upto me, I would want to kick a mighty fuss for all that happens around me and NOT adult up. It’s that hard on the head. Very very very hard.

This is why people must beyond respect and have special regard for pregnant women. Because it’s bloody damn hard. When people around you don’t sense that, it can be a turmoil.

This is where, at some small point, the seed of PPD sets in. It is a teeny tiny speck and it manifests into a mountain in no time. Many mothers go through post partum depression in various degrees. Some’miss being themselves’, some ‘dont relate to motherhood’, some just want to be held and loved.

Imagine this: for 9 months people wait on you like you dropped down from heaven.. “duh! You are bringing in a child! You deserve that kind of importance”. Then all of a sudden, it’s a potato-like looking 8pound thing that becomes the centre of attention, while you are sitting there with bloodshot eyes and sticky leaky boobs! Ugllllllyyyy!

Again, I am just scratching the surface here. What I intend to say is that it’s upto people around to ensure that a woman sees through her pregnancy in not just physically good state but also a mentally good one.

It stems from respecting a person for what they go through and not just what end result you expect out of them. Empathy is one way to begin, using your common sense is just another 😉

P.S..: If you tell me that men go through transformation as well, then this very very very pregnant mother will curse you with 40 days of messy lochia and more, because it isn’t the same.

P.P.S.: I am no expert on clinical disorders, but being a mother to a monstrous toddler and waddling my last few weeks pregnant has knocked in some sense into me 🙂

M.I.A. Momma!

6 months is a bloody long time to be missing in action. That too for a mom who can hardly shut up about things around her. But then, that’s where nature kicks in. We have been busy baking baby#2 which seems to be consuming more time and energy than my toddler himself. Ah well! There are things you can plan and there are things you cannot. Junior seems to belong to the latter category. What can I say? 😉

2 announcement

There are pros and cons to the whole deal (or that’s what we have been telling ourselves). For one, I will get to sleep through the night without having to nurse or change poopy diapers *in a few years from now*. Yes, I wouldn’t have to revisit the whole baby deal after a 5 year break (that does sound like torture to me.. to be able to sleep well once your first kid has grown up and then go back to sleepless nights). And like I have mentioned earlier, Junior should be renamed the ‘Economy mode’ baby! He or She, gets everything from L in mint condition 😉 Right from clothes to cloth diapers to toys and the babywearing gear. Hurrray for all the savings we will make *cough cough*

So, yes. Managing a toddler, trying to keep your head high above the water on a personal level AND making a baby can be quite a laborious venture. I am 2/3rds done. Just can’t wait for November to see what’s going to happen. I mean, how hard is going to be with a kid in his terrible twos and a bawling little scrawny newborn, right? (I can hear you snigger from far away 😉 )

Maturity. I get it now. I am not yet 30, but I KNOW that for the next few years I am going to be a whirlwind of a mess (in all likelihood). I am going to be dealing with a chimp and a baby monkey. It’s going to be a circus. There’s going to be piles of laundry, floor laden with toy land mines and maybe (NOT) poop or spit up. But I am sure it’s going to fun and worth the whole deal in the long run!

For now, I am just praying L doesn’t get over friendly with my bump in the coming few months. He already enjoys talking to ‘bibi’ and sometimes getting physically over friendly with it too!

Aaaand yes, I am back 🙂 Got a lot more stuff lined up to talk about and you sure don’t want to miss it, do you?

 

The Parent Trap

You know, I am beginning to feel like this whole parenting thing is like one of those retailer network programs. You join as a bakra and then you find two more to join as bakras as well and then they find two more and so on.

Seriously, think about it. You become a parent and then can’t wait to see another couple ‘enjoy’ it as well. So, you invite them over to dinner with a couple of drinks and then put up your baby to display (almost). You show them how it gurgles, you make them hold it and ‘sniff in the baby smell’ and once they leave, you start slowly sending pics, voice messages and videos of the baby doing just about *nothing*. There, in that moment you have successfully planted the seed of temptation in the minds of an unassuming couple, who would have chosen to go watch a late night movie with some chewy caramel popcorn instead.

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The seed then grows and they see ‘signs’. Cute babies on TV, friends having maternity shoots done, birth announcements, cute baby at the mall and so on. They are standing at the brink of it and all BAM! They fall into the trap!

“omg.. We’re having a baby next June… I am so excited! *aaaaaaaaah*” squeals the new mom to be over the phone, as you plonk your feet on whatever little bit of the tea table you can see beneath the ocean of toys and laundry, sipping on some dead wine, with a sinister smile playing on your lips.

From there on, it’s all about what to do and what not to do advices over Whatsapp, sharing links, dropping over to spend time ‘getting handy’ under the pretext of having tea with home baked cookies and the likes.

I tell you, it’s a vicious cycle. One thing leads to another! So the next time a new parent couple invites you home for dinner out of the blue, beware or be ready to sign up! 😉 

*written in a lighter vein. People are requested to not rain down upon me about the emo and senti angle of it all. Kthxbai*

Why I wear what I wear

Here’s a word on the one thing that has worked for me as a parent – babywearing. I have come across a lot of people who’ve thought it’s a ‘bag’, ‘pouch’ or even a ‘cage’ for the baby. But, if you were a nuclear parent like me, who has to be up and about all the time, you will call your carrier (psst, that’s the name for it) your extra pair of hands.

I chanced upon babywearing when a colleague of mine thought that it would be the perfect gift to my newborn and got my office to get me a carrier at the same time as an aunt visiting from the US who gifted us another type of a carrier. That was the point of no turning back. I started off feeling fascinated about the whole deal of being hands free and it just kept getting better.

One thing led to another and I was part of one of the biggest babywearing networks in India there is. Half the time, I would ogle at the various carries and carriers (they make the love for sarees seem childish). I would troubleshoot once in a while and just keep stalking people on the group. This was more like a confidence building exercise for me.

Our wearing days initially were only we went out and stuff. But moving cities with a toddler has made me swear by baby wearing. Thankfully, little L loves it too. From putting him down for a nap within minutes to whipping up meals at dinner time, babywearing is there for me.

At some point,  this love for ‘wearing’ L grew from just a ‘thing to do’ into a way of life. I recommend babywearing to every mother I see. It’s like recommending trying Rathna Cafe’s sambar idlis. You just HAVE to experience this beauty. Its relieving and relaxing to both the baby and you.

imageThe world of babywearing recently opened up from the humble Ring Slings (RS) and Full Buckle SSCs to the adventurous episodes of wraps. Ha ha! Wrapping is like the biggest thing right now. Everybody wants to wrap or give a shot at it. It’s fun, challenging and definitely not boring. There are sizes, types, finishes and challenges that will keep you going for quite a while.

Thanks to a wonderful lady,  Chinmayie, who creates the bestest  carriers there are in India, I am now a part of a network that’s passing on this love for babywearing to more mothers.

Yesterday, was the first time we met (a good 3 dozen and more) and boy was it fun! It was like a VIVA examination where I’d hop from mom & bub to mom & bub showing them and getting them to wear their babies. I sure was exhausted by the end, but the many happy faces and gurgling smiles got me on a high!

 

I could talk to you about babywearing all night long. There’s so much more to learn and experiment that I would probably have you wrapping your dog or slinging up your niece by the end of it all!

This thing is infectious and I know I am not making total sense anymore, but if you have a baby start wearing them NOW! You will be amazed to see how much of a better bond you can create with your child without you becoming a mom-zilla around crying babies and cranky toddlers.image

P.S. : I understand it looks not so normal to you,  but believe me wearing your baby is the bestest thing you could do! Did you know that babies who are worn more often are usually extremely confident and calm as they grow up? Did you know that you could calm a crying infant within minutes of wearing them thanks to the warmth they feel while on you? Did you know that babywearing also involves toddlers and not just babies?

Aaaaand did you know that babywearing dads look a million bucks? 😉

 

Oh, I could just go on and on, but I will stop for now.

To babywearing and the happiness it brings! 😀