Weehee! The little one turned 6 months a few days back! SIX months! Time is flying faster than I had imagined. But, touch wood, we are keeping pace with it 😉
I had recently shared a pic on my Instagram handle that got a lot of buzz. Nope, I am not being signed by some brand (rofl). I had mentioned about my hardship (emotionally, physically) as a parent with two kids. I had used the word depression. A lot of friends pinged, texted and checked upon me. Thank you for that. But, I am fine. I just spelt out what probably every other mother goes through post delivery. It’s not about clinical issues, but issues that circle over our heads every single day. Most often, we tend to ignore them and brush them under the carpet. Let me tell you, that carpet is going to explode with dust one day, choking you in your own emotions.
I take venting out VERY seriously. If you don’t you will erupt one day. What is the need to bottle up emotions? I don’t. Rather, I can’t. For years now, my husband has been at the receiving end of these vent out explosions. 90% of them are super rapid texts one after the other. Sometimes 20 at one shot. That’s when he knows that the soda bottle has been shaken way too much and there’s a need to clear the pressure. Someone has to uncork the bottle and release the pressure.
6 months with two kids and near zero help has been about many a soda bottle explosions. God bless the husband for having seen it all without as much as frowning an inch. He is patient and calm through the storm. I think everyone needs someone like that, so it’s easy to let out the steam. Your 4am friend, your mom, your husband, your partner, your yoga teacher, someone! It really helps find your way back to being ‘normal’ again. Venting is necessary. But I have also found ways to release steam that does not involve shouting/crying or leaning on someone. These help me on a daily basis. Here they are, so you may pick some lines and unwind too! (I hope it helps)
- Find a hobby that is not bound by deadlines. I crochet. I crochet after the kids nap, I crochet at midnight. It gives me meditative peace.
- Dress well. Moms tend to be PJ-people. Make that PJ interesting. Look smart, get the haircut that’s long due. Use a body wash that lifts your spirit. ruffle up your accessories, buy a lip gloss that’s got actual color.
- Cook. Experiment. Make stuff that you don’t make every day. I can’t remember when I last made sambar. It’s not about being stereotypical, but it’s about paying attention. When you cook something new, you don’t do it mechanically. You pay attention to detail. Do that! At least thrice a week.
- Take help. I suck at this, but now I am seeing the value of it. Give the baby to anyone who’s willing to entertain them and put your feet up. Spend 10 extra minutes in the loo, heck 15 maybe. The baby is all yours, but so is your time 😉
- Say no to additional obligatory stuff. Seriously! Give yourself a break. Do less. The ones who get offended can take a leap; the ones who don’t, deserve a hug!
- Ask yourself if it can wait. I see that line has changed the way I spend my day upside down. ‘I need to order grocery’. Can it wait till the kids are down for a nap? yes! Then let it wait. ‘I need to finish writing that IG post’. Dude, can it freaking wait till your son has cuddled you all he wants? Duh, yes!
- Close out stress. Don’t take calls you don’t want to. Don’t engage in negative or disheartening conversations. Don’t even meet people that don’t spark joy a.k.a. Konmari your life and the people in it!
- Pamper yourself. I know how people freak about getting back into shape a few months into delivery, but hey! you pushed a human out. Do you know how much your body has gone through? It needs rest and a LOT of pampering. Be easy on yourself. It’s okay to have love handles! It’s okay to have a paunch. You can hit the gym and kick some power yoga too but not now! Wait. Give your body a break. [psst.. stock up on enough ice cream tubs ;)]
These are just things I do to keep my head above the water! Because, unless you are making an attempt, there’s no one out there to cheer you on. So, make that attempt, stay alive, and emerge stronger. <3